Red Team

                     Simmons the kiss ass of Blood Gluch

Simmions Bio

  • Status: Alive
Private First Class Dick Simmons is voiced by Gustavo Sorola, co-creator of the series. Simmons is the second-in-command of the Red Team, a position strengthened by his sycophantic demeanour to his superior, Sarge. Along with Grif, Simmons is one of the first characters to ever appear in Red vs. Blue; the pair debuted at the start of episode 1.

Simmons Quotes

  • SHOTGUN...fuck
  • Oh, you back-stabbing cockbite!
  • Suck it, blue!
  • Oh, you backstabbing assmonkeys!
  • I think yelling should be reserved for only the most critical of situations...Like when someone drinks milk from out of the carton!
  • Shotgu...fuck!
  • Shut up! You ruined my life!
  • Oh jeez, the back of my head!
  • Who's a bad hostage taker now, bitch!
  • Owwww, the back of my head is killing me... oh jeez, the front of my face!
  • I can't believe I donated organs for this fucking war.
  • Oh jeez, the back of your head!
  • You can't surrender, Blues! We haven't attacked you! Now go home and wait for us to attack and then you can surrender!
  • I already told you, I'M DUTCH IRISH!
  • Cocksucker, SIR!
  • [After he changes sides] Suck it Blue! Uh, I mean Red! FUCK! You know what I mean!
  • You're about to get Simmonsized!
  • [Trying to enrage Chuch] Did he see the last episode of The Sopranos yet?
  • [Holding onto flying, flaming warthog] I can't hold on, but I'm too afraid to let go!