Sarge the leader of Red Team in Blood Gulch
Sarge's Bio
Sarge
- Status: Alive
All of Sarge's best Quotes
- How bout a tasty lead sandwich with a side of sarge! (shoots Grif in the head) Hold the life. And the mayo.
- Calling Dr. Sarge M.D. Diagnosis: death. Perscription: SHOTGUN!
- (Shoots Tucker in the head) Dr. Sarge says take two barrels of this shotgun and call me when your dead! Ring, ring. Hello? Is it you? Yup, your dead.
- "Thats exactly it, private. The war's over. We won. Turns out your the BIG hero. We're gonna hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float. And Simmons here, is IN CHARGE OF CONFETTI!"
- The Blues never sleep! They're too busy plotting to destroy our way of life. That's how you can always spot a Blue, Donut. They're always conniving and scheming. Sometimes they do both! I call that...Schenniving!
- Bluetard.
- Simmons, I want you to poison Grif's next meal.
- Grif doesn't know what he's talking about? Stop the fucking presses.
- Will you put that in a memo entitled "Shit I already know"!
- I LOVE BLOOD AND VIOLENCE! I'VE GOT A BONER FOR MURDER!
- TODAY IS A GOOD DAY TO DIE...No it's gotta be today...For our ancestors! [Rushes into battle]
- Son did you just shoot yourself in the foot?
- [Regarding the Warthog gattling gun] I think I could've taken him.
- Sorrowful sounds! Pleas for forgiveness!
- Great sodium chloride! There goes my chemistry set!
- That's right, Blue! We've called in the cavalry! As we speak the glorious Red Command is sending a ship to aid us. No doubt it's a battle cruiser of the highest magnitude! It's time to end this thing once and for all!
- But I was so young and violent.
- Hey! Your circular holyness!
- Oh, I'm just so depressed. I can't even threaten your life for being such a jackass...Jackass...I'll kill you.
- (regarding Lopez' love song to Sheila) That sounds like the feral cry of a retarded Mexican sasquatch.
- Didn't I just tell you to stop makin up animals?!
- [In warthog and in the air; Mexican Rancheo music playing] Yeeeeee hawww!..... [Hit the ground] I told you not to take jumps bigger than my yee haws!
- (Grif)Did that order come from command? (Sarge) In fact it did and it also told my foot to report up your ass on the double!
- What is this a rememberance or a roast?
- TODAY IS A GOOD DAY FOR YOU TO DIE! "[Referring to Grif]"
- Chupathingy / Chupababy
- Sweet jibbling jibblets!!
- I ONLY DRINK THE BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES!!!
- What in Sam Hell?
- Lazers and robots... robots... and lazers... Okay! We've got it! We want you to... demote Grif.
- You're on Grif's what?
- Today seems like a good day to teleport!
- Agent Wash, you just got- [Fires shotgun at pile of explosives by Washington, blows up] Ah, damnmit! I messed up my one-liner!
- "Hey, will you hold these bullets for me? IN YOUR GUT!" Grif- "Ow... I can see my spine..."
- A Priest, A rabbi, and Grif all walk into a bar, AND I KILL 'EM!
- I hope you brought your wallet... 'cause the rent in Hell gets paid in advance!
- Hey Blue! How you like them apples? And by apples, I mean bullets! In your face! How you like them pears? Guess what I mean by pears?
- My favorite part was the part when you died. Encore! Bravo.
- What about those robot nuts?
- Son of a Ben and Jerry! Now how am I going to finish all this ice cream we found?